"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
