I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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