from now on my penis is your penis
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
