it wasn't lemon gatorade
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
