he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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