Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
