wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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