the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
