Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
