would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
