I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
