I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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