I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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