I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
