I haven't been this sober since birth.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
