so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
