I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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