You're my little dorito
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
