We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
