I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
