Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My cat gives me a boner
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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