I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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