Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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