READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
