hotel room ftw
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
