love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
