I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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