OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
and she was petting her beer can
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
