I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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