A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
