But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
