I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
