physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sext me about skeletons
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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