Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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