you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
