I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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