When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
