good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
