I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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