Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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