Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
