It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
