He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
