Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
