I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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