The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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