And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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