I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
