Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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