So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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