If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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