You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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