Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize