As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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