I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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