You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Please, let me fuck your mom
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
