I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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