I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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