i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
