There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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