she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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