what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
