I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
