biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
