we have officially lost it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize