yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
