so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
