But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
