Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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